bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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