My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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