just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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