That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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