she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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