so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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