I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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