The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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