you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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