To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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