Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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