I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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