Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
