I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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