i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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