He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
