I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
