We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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