everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
