It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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