Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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