her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you win again, gameday.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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