Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
