Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if only i could text you this smell
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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