Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
