if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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