would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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