It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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