Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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