So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
