Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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