P.S. I can't hear my feet
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
