I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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