Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
