he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
