Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
