U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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