summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
