so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I wish I only lived at night.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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