My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
