i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
