does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
