I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize