She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
