Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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