just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
