she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
