Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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