So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
