I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
