break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
