I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
