He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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