I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
