i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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