I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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