yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
