I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
