I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
