I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
