and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
